I realize that I'm not often open about my less-than-pristine moments, so I decided to go out on a limb (pretty far out) and type up a recent entry in my journal. Sorry if it's kinda corny, just happened to be what I was feeling at the time. If nothing else, I hope it gives someone hope for when life seems uncertain and uncontrollable.
Joshua,
Where is your faith? Has God not provided for you again and again, no matter your need, unrelated to how freaked out you become over everything? Do not set your worries on your own affairs. God is in control of all, and will not let you fall, irregardless of what your circumstances may seem like. God's plans for you are good, and you are along His journey for you as He has desired you to be. You feel lonely, without anyone to comfort you as you feel continually denied in authentic connections with others, yet God is there when you cry in what seems to be an empty room. While you're thinking He's not there, keep in mind that He is the room; He is the air you use to speak and sing in times both good and bad. You have failed in keeping strong friendships alive; you've failed also in controlling your thoughts and emotions, the parts of you which force you time and time again to admit your inadequacy. Where you failed utterly, you have succeeded joyfully in God. He is your stongest friendship, deeper than any human could fathom. He helps you when emotions roll free and the dark clouds of frustration and stress roll in, deepening your connection to Him in what is so precious a thing to have, that God did all in His power to obtain it with you. Confusion is only natural, uncertainty the only certainty, so your frets and worries, while seemingly real now, will soon dissolve into the patience of eternity and joy of purity.
Never forget (which is harder than always remembering):
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. For the
Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9 (emphasis mine)
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Hooked on Courses?
As my final semester of undergraduate post-secondary learning approaches, I feel it pertinent to address an issue of the education system which does not always have its proper moments. I am, of course, talking about the fact that University will suck your life dry if you let it.
Now, keep in mind that my grades are not pristine, so the potentially euphoric high one receives (comparable only to having the pleasure centre of your brain directly stimulated, as I hear it, at least) once obtaining the all-powerful and nigh-Everest-like acheivement of straight A's (or A+'s if you're really going for it) I have yet to experience. Therefore, I admit to not having exactly the most objective viewpoint on this, but the fact is that my viewpoint is only rarely objective, and when it is, things get screwy to say the least; so I will give you my straightforward opinion on the whole thing.
University, like most things semi-addictive in nature, is a tool. It can be used for good, and it can most definitely be used for evil. There is no direct morality taught, nor personal development forced upon its inhabitants. These you must develop for yourself, and if you believe that your classes are going to do it for you, you are in for a very pluralistic and relativistic journey, at the end of which you will be more confused about what is right and wrong than after all the lectures of "Quantum Mechanics as applied to the socioeconomic impact of the Osprey Monkey and its implications for the history and meaning of life 101".
Yet education at times promises this enlightening aspect. With all the knowledge of the world at your fingertips, you must be able to stumble across wisdom which will form your personality and make you the person you need to become; after all, all these dead people found something to write about. And so people strive year after year to find these pieces of themselves in every place but within their own heart.
Even worse, some believe that they will find themselves after graduating, that their job of choice is just waiting on the outside of these struggles for a letter grade and if they push out a few more A's, they will find what they are looking for both personally and professionally. Two points: one; as I understand it, the majority of jobs these days are found through networking and less through good grades; two; my recommendation is to start the journey for who you want to be now, because it is not short.
So I ask: what are you looking for in your education, and are you sure you are not making education your life, instead of making life your education?
We need to find life, hope, love, etc.; not life in a dusty book where the words can seem just as distant as a professor can when talking on their subject of choice. Life was not meant to be lived in a dark room looking at cells or writing thousands of lines of code each day.
Life was meant to be lived with God, with purpose. Education cannot be our final goal, because it is short-lived and finite in nature. Learning can be life-long, as it should be, yet you can accumulate any number of degrees or take all the courses a university has to offer, but there is no way you can live your life fully if you do not know what's behind the learning.
As I come close to graduating, I look back and see that I am not ashamed of the hours I spent with people instead of with textbooks, nor the many extra-curricular activities I have busied myself with during the past 4.5 years of University. Over the many years I have been part of SFU, I know this one thing: involvement in your community will give you your best memories, teach you your most profound lessons, and allow you your greatest opportunities to reach others.
If 80% of the work in community groups and volunteer organizations is done by 20% of the population, I now know why I only meet about 2 out of 10 people who never cease to keep me inspired and alive; I guess the rest of them must be looking for inspiration in their lecture notes.
Now, keep in mind that my grades are not pristine, so the potentially euphoric high one receives (comparable only to having the pleasure centre of your brain directly stimulated, as I hear it, at least) once obtaining the all-powerful and nigh-Everest-like acheivement of straight A's (or A+'s if you're really going for it) I have yet to experience. Therefore, I admit to not having exactly the most objective viewpoint on this, but the fact is that my viewpoint is only rarely objective, and when it is, things get screwy to say the least; so I will give you my straightforward opinion on the whole thing.
University, like most things semi-addictive in nature, is a tool. It can be used for good, and it can most definitely be used for evil. There is no direct morality taught, nor personal development forced upon its inhabitants. These you must develop for yourself, and if you believe that your classes are going to do it for you, you are in for a very pluralistic and relativistic journey, at the end of which you will be more confused about what is right and wrong than after all the lectures of "Quantum Mechanics as applied to the socioeconomic impact of the Osprey Monkey and its implications for the history and meaning of life 101".
Yet education at times promises this enlightening aspect. With all the knowledge of the world at your fingertips, you must be able to stumble across wisdom which will form your personality and make you the person you need to become; after all, all these dead people found something to write about. And so people strive year after year to find these pieces of themselves in every place but within their own heart.
Even worse, some believe that they will find themselves after graduating, that their job of choice is just waiting on the outside of these struggles for a letter grade and if they push out a few more A's, they will find what they are looking for both personally and professionally. Two points: one; as I understand it, the majority of jobs these days are found through networking and less through good grades; two; my recommendation is to start the journey for who you want to be now, because it is not short.
So I ask: what are you looking for in your education, and are you sure you are not making education your life, instead of making life your education?
We need to find life, hope, love, etc.; not life in a dusty book where the words can seem just as distant as a professor can when talking on their subject of choice. Life was not meant to be lived in a dark room looking at cells or writing thousands of lines of code each day.
Life was meant to be lived with God, with purpose. Education cannot be our final goal, because it is short-lived and finite in nature. Learning can be life-long, as it should be, yet you can accumulate any number of degrees or take all the courses a university has to offer, but there is no way you can live your life fully if you do not know what's behind the learning.
As I come close to graduating, I look back and see that I am not ashamed of the hours I spent with people instead of with textbooks, nor the many extra-curricular activities I have busied myself with during the past 4.5 years of University. Over the many years I have been part of SFU, I know this one thing: involvement in your community will give you your best memories, teach you your most profound lessons, and allow you your greatest opportunities to reach others.
If 80% of the work in community groups and volunteer organizations is done by 20% of the population, I now know why I only meet about 2 out of 10 people who never cease to keep me inspired and alive; I guess the rest of them must be looking for inspiration in their lecture notes.
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