Especially Joshes can be imperfect....

I realize that I'm not often open about my less-than-pristine moments, so I decided to go out on a limb (pretty far out) and type up a recent entry in my journal. Sorry if it's kinda corny, just happened to be what I was feeling at the time. If nothing else, I hope it gives someone hope for when life seems uncertain and uncontrollable.

Joshua,
Where is your faith? Has God not provided for you again and again, no matter your need, unrelated to how freaked out you become over everything? Do not set your worries on your own affairs. God is in control of all, and will not let you fall, irregardless of what your circumstances may seem like. God's plans for you are good, and you are along His journey for you as He has desired you to be. You feel lonely, without anyone to comfort you as you feel continually denied in authentic connections with others, yet God is there when you cry in what seems to be an empty room. While you're thinking He's not there, keep in mind that He is the room; He is the air you use to speak and sing in times both good and bad. You have failed in keeping strong friendships alive; you've failed also in controlling your thoughts and emotions, the parts of you which force you time and time again to admit your inadequacy. Where you failed utterly, you have succeeded joyfully in God. He is your stongest friendship, deeper than any human could fathom. He helps you when emotions roll free and the dark clouds of frustration and stress roll in, deepening your connection to Him in what is so precious a thing to have, that God did all in His power to obtain it with you. Confusion is only natural, uncertainty the only certainty, so your frets and worries, while seemingly real now, will soon dissolve into the patience of eternity and joy of purity.
Never forget (which is harder than always remembering):
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. For the
Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9 (emphasis mine)