Chilliwack'ed, Intro

Recently, I did another of my bike adventures, this time exceeding all previous distance records for myself... I went to Chilliwack, from Burnaby Mountain. Since I have this particular medium to describe the trip, I figured I might as well use it; it'll take awhile and about 12-13 posts to get it all, so hopefully it'll be entertaining enough for you all. For any who aren't much into reading verbose descriptions, here's the rundown of the trip: 201km biked, 100km of which done in 4.5 hours, total time from start to finish: about 14 hours, 8430 calories expended (according to my heartrate monitor), countless moments of doubt and near-cursing frustration, 9 different towns biked through, and nearly no energy left by the time I got back. To fill in the details, you'll have to read more.

Prologue: Anticipation
Leading up:
I'd been mentally preparing for an excursion to Chilliwack for a long while, as it's a good destination for crazies wanting to bike 200km given its position roughly 100km from Vancouver and the terrain being mild elevation-wise (the latter point I might refute now, given my experience). The decision was made a week beforehand to do the trip on a Monday since I had the day off work. Despite some minor illness the previous week, I was in pretty good condition by the time the day rolled around.
The Night Before: Sunday, June 22
Preparations were made for the saddlebags, clothes, bike, and even my muscles. Though I'm one to oft emphasize the psychological side of things, this was somehow overlooked in my many tasks to be ready for the ride. Bags were packed the night before with an array of useful items, likely about 40% of which were in no way used at any point in the trip. Clothes were chosen based on comfort but also reduced awkwardness. No one really wants to see me in tight spandex-like bike gear, at least I certainly don't think so (plus I was meeting Shannon later in the day... so it was for her benefit as well). The day before I cleaned the gears and chain on my bike as thoroughly as I could. I have done a magnificent job of uglifying my bike in a number of areas: pink reflector stickers, fruit stickers, leaving just a bit of grime on it, etc, etc... But I am convinced that cleaning the gear assembly and chain can change the efficiency of riding quite a bit (given that the methods of uglifying have to this point been mainly cosmetic and in no way interfere with the workings of the bike, a bit of work with a brush and my gears are not among the worst-looking areas of my noble, stainless-steel steed).
Regarding the muscles, I have to explain about The Stick; this is a roughly 1.5-foot "stick" with plastic rollers on it and what appears to be a ceramic core tube around which the plastic rollers are situated. By rolling The Stick on my muscles, it kneads out any knots and effectively warms up my muscles so I can be ready for exercise. The night before I left, I made sure to use this device on my legs just in case, with further use the next day before I left. Unfortunately, while I did use The Stick, I did not decide to stretch properly. This was not a good idea, as I learned later on.
Day of the Trek: Monday, June 23
It was a usual morning for me, save for waking up at a certain time (7am or so) in the morning when I typically and preferably would be in my better stages of REM sleep. The routine was normal: breakfast while watching some TV show online, shaving, flossing, brushing teeth... Except there is a certain problem with the last item: toothpaste, as it happens, tends to turn my mouth into the Sahara desert as it absorbs every speck of moisture I have. Dehydration while you are biking for hours on end is among the worst things which can happen, likely moreso when you begin in this state.
Anyways, the goal was a departure at 8:30am. I "stretched" (as described above with The Stick), and decided that a bit of tire pumping was needed. Now, my pump has the wonderful feature of being compact enough to fit in one of my bike bags without much hassle. It lacks a pressure gauge, however, and this is only a problem when I'm in a state of excitement and hurry, like when I'm about to embark on a full-day gruelathon which could cut short my existence. It was 8:20am when I started pumping the tires; the back tire was fine after a few pumps, so on to the front. I was going at it vigourously when I noticed that the sound of air escaping was getting more continuous than I have usually observed, going even after I remove the pump. This is the sound of over-inflating a tube and having the seal around the valve split into an unpatch-able mess of tube-y fun. Consequently also the sound of my start time being delayed while I furiously (a word used in both the emotional and physical contexts at this point) changed the tube and pumped it up, careful this time not to over-inflate.
A last check-over everything; gear, water, bike, heltmet, iPod, heartrate monitor, gloves... Check. Off I go, at 9:05am, heading towards Port Coquitlam.