On being 21

(this is transferred from my MSN space... I was told that one isn't very good, so I came over here)

Hey Anyone,

No idea who's gonna read this; probably no one.
I turned 21 on Saturday. Yes, many people are surprised that I am so young as well as that my birthday was not widely celebrated, but I'd like to speak to one thing which I believe should hit every person at 21: what are you doing? At this point in life the gloves are off, I can now go to the states and drink with the best of them. More importantly, there is a number of people out there who may see 21 as a magical age which now means I am a "man", as though this gender and sex definition did not apply to me beforehand. I suppose that I could have been (and still may be) called a child before my birthday, but what has really changed? Also, what does being a "true man" entail? My mail hasn't been working great in the past little while, so if there's some sort of manual detailing my new responsibilities, I won't get it for a bit... I don't think that it'll arrive anyways. It's silly to assume that all of the sudden I'm a new person; I am who I have always been: an impermanent form of what is to come. As is with many people, there are times when I demonstrate the behavior I would wish to show for my entire life, and other times which I really wish didn't happen. God, knowing exactly what I need, has revealed that I won't always be clumsy with words, not always brutal with feedback, and not always negative in opinion; yet the change always happens slowly, with each increasing increment of self-knowledge and devotion to God.
In the end, being 21 doesn't mean a thing. I am now past two decades of age, and there is more ahead of me than behind me. Being who I am, I am truthfully frightened of what's to come, because I inevitably know what it's going to be.
I only pray that acheiving the great prize of living for 21 years will inspire me to pick up the responsibility I have left slacking, and become the man I know God has it in store for me to be.